CRUISING THE MEXICAN RIVIERA 2006

First of all, I have decided that cruising is THE way to go for me.  Without a doubt.

PRE TRIP:

First off.  I was so excited about this trip, I booked it about 2 months in advance.  I hadn't taken a vacation in over two years so I was counting the SECONDS.  It's true.  If you take a look at my calendar at work, I had every day since I booked it, crossed off.  It gave me something cool to look forward to.

So having said that, I wrote a list of all the things I would need.  I like lists.  I really like lists.  I like to be organized.  It's fun for me.  It gives me something to do.  I pre-filled all the cruise-ships tags, I logged on to the website to see if there were any goodies I could order for the stateroom to surprise Ron with.  There were, of course.  So we got the Romantic Package (which - interestingly - is exactly the same as the Bon Voyage package, and the Congratulations package).  Which, other than the bottle of champagne, wasn't terribly romantic.  T-shirts and visors are not romantic.  Actually, for someone who doesn't like champagne, it's not romantic either, but whatever!  It was a package!  And I managed to keep it a surprise until we got to the bloody room, which is amazing for someone like me.

So I just got a kitten two weeks ago (well, three now) and I was so worried about getting things organized about his being taken care of and getting the house in order that packing, well, sort of got put last, then mostly forgotten.  Which explains why I've been wearing the same t-shirt for three days.  I should have had a clue when I picked up Ron's luggage and almost gave myself a hernia and then picked up my own and found it weighed no more than a pound or two.  Whatever!   I thought.  More to stuff goodies in for the trip back!  (See how I was thinking there??)

FLIGHT TO LONG BEACH:

The last cruise we went on, we had to sail out of Florida.  I got smarter this time.  We flew out of San Jose to Long Beach and boarded the ship there.  I didn't book an insanely early flight either so we were dressed and ready to go by 9 a.m. and well early for our 11 a.m. flight.  Even Immigration was PLEASANT.  I say that because San Jose International Airport is usually notorious for its rude security check employees.  But this time, they surprised us all.  They were PLEASANT.  Did I mention that?

So we checked in all our bags (without delay or hassle) and then went and waited for our flight.  We were booked on the American Eagle which is about the size of a box of matches so that was interesting.  I was comfortable because I'm insanely short.  Ron, however, at 6'2" was one step below miserable.  Luckily for him, he had an aisle seat and could stretch out a bit.

There was a girl on the plane with a puppy in a bag seated with her.  It made me wonder if I would have gotten away with hauling a kitten on board.  My guess is no.  As you can tell, I was already missing Miko (that's my cat - he's a Russian Blue.  Miko is short for Mikoyan-Gurevich and he's aptly named because that freakin' cat can FLY).

Did you know they charge for snacks now?  What the???  When did THAT happen?  Maybe on the longer flights they don't, but they sure did on this one!  Hmph!  At least my Canada Dry was free. 

So we get to Long Beach and make our way down to Baggage Claim 3 where our luggage is.  Luckily, there' s a Carnival Pride representative waiting right there for us.  She signed us in and we waited for our bus driver to take us to the ship.  Not too long of a wait.  Finally, we hop on board and it's a thirty minute drive to the ship.  Our bus driver, unfortunately, must have stayed up a bit too late the night before because he started swerving on the highway.  YIKES!  Ron noticed, I didn't.  I drive like that all the time.  So rather than allow the man to send us careening into oncoming traffic (thus ruining our cruise, methinks), he chatted with the guy the rest of the way.  We were, as luck would have it, sitting in the seats directly behind the driver.  My mother, also a bus driver, likes to call these the "idiot seats" because, apparently, idiots sit in them and talk to her.  Maybe she falls asleep, too, I don't know.

EMBARKATION TERMINAL:

So we get to the pier safely.  Go, Ron!  I have five minutes to go potty and find a travel bag and back in line we go.  The lineup, is a snaking mile long into the ship.  We, lucky us, are at the tail end of it.  HOWEVER, since Ron has his cane with him (for stability, he's got MS), a Carnival Representative spots us and whisks us off to the VERY front of the line and to the Special Services desk where we check in - in less than 8 minutes.  How sweet is that?  Ron leans over to me and says, "Membership has its privileges, though I wouldn't miss the holes in my brain."  Amen, to that, hon.

FUN DAYS AT SEA!

So after we received our Sail and Sign cards (like onboard credit and VERY VERY DANGEROUS!) we got our picture taken and off we went to find our cabin.  6159!  Go Pride!  Ha ha.  Anyway, beautiful ship and I'll attach some pics for you to see, too.  Very renaissance.  Very posh.  Not 70's cheese like the other ship we were on.  So we dropped our bags off at the cabin, checked it out, I took pictures, and then off we went in search of food.  Pay for a snack on a flight when I can pig out on board?  Oh I don't think so!!!!  So we wandered down to the Mermaid Grille and grabbed ourselves some rotisserie lunch.  And dessert.  And more dessert.  And I had some kind of drink that was rather yummy -- Caribbean Breeze or some such thing.  Whatever, it had rum in it and I was okay with it.  Came with a pretty cup, too, which I will never get again because there is absolutely no place to put those things.  (Souvenirs are far more valuable than some dumb cup)

So the first few days were at sea, which to some might seem boring, but it was great fun.  We received at our stateroom each evening a Carnival Capers "newsletter" with tear-off agenda that you could take with you.  It had an itinerary for ship events all day from breakfast all the way to midnight buffets.  I RAN up to the spa the second I had a moment to book some pampering.  Sure, she said, how about 8 a.m. tomorrow morning?  I'm like, huh?  But...but...this is vacation.  You don't get up at 8 a.m. on VACATION.  Sorry, that's all she had.  Dammit, okay.  And I find out you're supposed to set your watches an hour ahead because we're going to be on MEXICO time.  So really...my appointment is at SEVEN o'clock!  Bloody hell!  They were gracious enough to give me a wake-up call.  I stumbled over to the spa and proceeded to lie there like a log while she gave me a massage and facial and then talked me into 300 dollars worth of facial stuff.  *cough*  Needless to say, after I picked up Ron off the floor he said, "Don't do that again."  To which I replied, "I won't have another drink the whole trip. You'll see.  You'll more than make up for it."

Okay, well it didn't quite work out me not having another drink, but he did - in fact - manage to outspend me in the frivolous purchases of alcohol department.  BUT...since it's his buck.  Who am I to whine?  So after I finish up with my spa treatment, she suggests that I'm still pretty tense in the neck and shoulder area and would I like a Frangio...  Frangioplasty...  Frangiopanini.  Whatever.  Some Italian name for neck, scalp, and shoulder massage.  I say, hey, why not.  9 a.m.  WHAT?  I wanted to sleep in until noon!  Apparently sleeping in until noon is not in the cards for day two at sea either.  But it's all good.  So in between eating and drinking, Ron has discovered the bar at the Casino and meets Darlene and Danny there.  Both from New York.  Both hysterical and really fun to hang out with.  So when Ron decides to head back to the Casino Bar, which he now affectionately calls "The Office", I either take a nap or read a book.

A few times, we made it down to the Taj Majal for trivia or Bingo.  I won neither time, but I was DAMN close to winning a Ship on a Stick in movie trivia.  I wrote down Normandy instead of France.  Dangit.  Wasn't paying attention.  So close. 

Dinner was a true joy.  We had two of the nicest ladies waiting on us - Agne from XXX and Aneliya from XXX.  They were great.  Really friendly and helpful and they'd memorized my name by day two.  It may not mean much to anyone else, but to me it was a big deal.   We were scheduled for a late seating at dinner which mean dinner at 8:15 p.m. and the show would start in the Taj Mahal around 10:30 p.m..  Sometimes it would be a comedian, a funny guy from New Orleans named Lawrence Montalto, I think it was.  He was hysterical.   OR...a ventriloquist who was marginally amusing-bordering-on-I-feel-awkward-watching-this.  Or we got to see the Carnival Pride dancers.  I'm happy to say that they have put a few dollars into costumes and these ladies and gents were dressed quite nicely.

PUERTO VALLARTA:

Puerto Vallarta was a nice place.  Right on the water (duh).  We were warned ahead of time not to get sucked in by the BARRAGE of vendors as soon as we got off the boat and they were RIGHT.  Oh my gosh, it was a madhouse.  Do you want a taxi, do you want a whistle, do you want a tour, do you want this flower, do you want a picture of this parrot, etc.   So I used my clearest Spanish and said, "No gracias." with a smile - a lot.  A LOT.  We had some time until the evening, in which we'd signed up for the shore excursion Rhythms of the Night at Las Caletas.  We decided to take a taxi into town and buy some loot for friends and family.  At this point, I think I have more loot than I have friends, but I'm sure I'll find some as I go along.

The streets were pretty hilly and we made sure we visited every single ship that had a Shop Ashore or whatever sign on it.  That way, any purchases we made were guaranteed.  We bought knick knacks and then asked this VERY nice girl named America in one of the shops in Plaza Genovesa where a good place to buy AUTHENTIC tacos would be.  She pointed us across the street and around the corner from El Pollo Loco.  Sure enough, it was a handcart with a bunch of workers sitting on a bench eating lunch.  But it was also THE BEST taco I have ever had in my entire life.  Ron tipped the guy five bucks, which was basically our meal, twice over.  Amazing.  Oh!   And they still sell bottles of pop in GLASS BOTTLES.  How cool is that?   So weird.  I wondered where they all went from the 70s.

Then we descended upon Del Sol which is a great shop that sells t-shirts that change colour in the sun.  Oh, you can bet we spent some money there.  Oh yes.  Yes we did.   We dropped all of our stuff off back at the cabin and then took one last trip out just far enough along the pier to Tanzanite International where Ron bought me the most beautiful early birthday present - a Tanzanite with diamonds and 14k white gold ring.  I'm looking at it now and going, "Oooooohhhhhhhh."  It's beautiful.  And since Tanzanite will probably be extinct in the next five years, it'll go up in value, too. 

Later that evening, we were back at the docks waiting for another boat to take us to Las Caletas for our dinner and show.  The boat ride was an HOUR long and we weren't expecting the insane amount of choppiness and water misting over the sides of the boat, but the drinks were free so Ron and Danny made numerous trips to the bar while Darlene and I tried not to get wet, take some pictures, and yap about whatever interested us.  An hour later, we were getting off the boat and making our way across the sand to thatched roof dining areas.  This place was remarkable and lush.  Green everywhere.  There was even a nice Siamese part I-don't-know-who-the-mom-slept-with named Nacho.  Nacho was stuck to our table like glue, especially after Darlene fed him five pieces of Mahi Mahi so I could take a picture of him.  Oh yeah, he was our BEST friend after that.

Dinner was great.  It was buffet style.  We had (as I said) Mahi Mahi, Fettuccine Alfredo (which was shockingly good), Carne Asada, salad, tortilla chips and guacamole, rice, grilled vegetables, and a host of other things to tempt our taste buds.  After dinner, the dessert buffet.  I carried back as much as one plate could hold  (on top of a rice pudding bowl).

After that, a quick trip to the banos and we were off to take our seats to watch the show, which was a variety of dance rituals of the Aztecs hundreds of years ago.  The show was nice, the seats were hard, it was hot, and I had to pee again.  Other than that, stellar.  STELLAR.  My arse is still sore, to be quite honest.  After the show, we were whisked - and I mean whisked - back to the boat so we could head back to the ship.  You don't want to be late for a cruise ship departure.  They don't wait for you.  Really, they don't.

We sang and danced all the way back to the boat, it was surprisingly fun and quick.  Off to bed, up early for Mazatlan the next day.

MAZATLAN:

We pretty much just shopped in Mazatlan.  We bought an excursion to shop, but ended up just doing it on our own.  We hung out with Danny and Darlene and Wray and his daughter, Jamie.  Danny won a diamond tennis bracelet in a raffle, which he gave to Darlene, of course.  Ron won a SORT of  gift certificate for 100 bucks off at 300 dollar purchase.  Not really a GIFT if you ask me.   Needless to say, I didn't win a thing.  We hopped several cabs, took a wrong turn to a Mega Mall, which was exactly what it sounds like.  We thought flea market, we got West Edmonton Mall, on a smaller scale of course.  But we may as well have been in California, everything was American.  So after as little time as possible, we headed out via taxi to the REAL shops.  Then off to Senor Frogs we went for some lunch, loud music, and people trying desperately to sell us stuff.  Did I mention loud music?  Yikes.  I couldn't even hear myself think!

Oh, and I had my first Jell-O shot which was probably the most revolting thing I'd ever eaten and, I have to say, I didn't taste a HINT of vodka.   So hmph.  But I did get a nice glowy necklace that lights up and is skooshy, so that's good.  It's in my bag somewhere probably losing its charge as we speak.

After that, Ron and I decided to head back to the ship and RELAX.  We slept for hours and then got up in time to visit the office and then head out for dinner.  Then off to bed for me for an early morning of swimming with dolphins!

CABO SAN LUCAS:

I'm cruisin'!  Again!: