LONDON 1999

Letter #1
Letter #2

LETTER #1

Hey all!!!

First off, if I've forgotten anyone, please just forward this on because I know for a FACT I'll never remember everyone and they charge a bloody arm and a leg for this Internet Cafe I'm in - - in LONDON, ENGLAND. (Did I mention I'm in London? Hey...I'm in London. LONDON LONDON LONDON...)

Hehe. :)

Ok well I've only been here a few days, but Tara and I are having an absolute blast!!!! This place is, as those Brits call it, absolutely mad!!!

I arrived a few hours ahead of Tara so I can safely say I'm more experienced. 
(Even if I did head to the hotel and sleep till she got here.)

So here's the synopsis:

FLIGHT:

Why do they ask you to be two hours early when it only takes 4 minutes to get through everything? I ended up sitting at the airport watching Shania Twain videos. (And talking on the phone, of course) : )

The flight was roughly 9 hours. Brutal! And I thought flights to California were bad!  I flew Air Canada which is pretty nice, but the stewardess I had was one of these militant Miss Ratchet types - so that meant dumb questions are out.  Luckily, I didn't ask any. 

The 400 year old Turkish guy beside me annoyed the heck out of her though.  He annoyed me too.  He spilled red wine all over my nice Air Canada blanket, got up to go to the bathroom, stuck his used cup on some guy's tray (who was sitting in his seat at the time) and wandered off to the bathroom. I looked at him and his girlfriend. They looked at me and we just shrugged our shoulders. So I plopped my stinky boozy blanket on his chair and swiped his neatly wrapped Air Canada blanket. He never said a word.

THE UNDERGROUND:

Customs was a breeze. One look at my passport and they let me out of there. (So silly!) I wandered the GIGANTIC Heathrow Airport for about 20 minutes looking for an information booth. Found one. The guy there sold me an Underground Ticket on the Piccadilly Line and sent me on my way. (Where I proceeded to wander for another twenty minutes to the damn terminal!)  I finally found it, and hopped on.  I sat on the tube for about 45 minutes and had to get off.  Apparently they had a slight problem with the Bakerloo Line and I had to get off and get a regular bus. I'm all, 

"What?!  This isn't on my schedule!!!" 

So I had to wander around aimlessly until I found the right bus stop.

THE TRIP TO THE HOTEL:

Fairly uneventful if you consider the fact that I took a step off the bus and immediately headed the exact opposite way to my hotel. I wandered with this suitcase (which was getting heavier by the minute) and an incredibly  full bladder (which was getting heavier by the minute) - - getting more and more lost.  Finally, after a few woe-is-me tears, I told myself,

"Ok.  You're lost.  BUT.  You're lost in London, England.  Now that's something."

So I dried my pathetic tears and asked directions a few times (seems no one in London knows where Carburton Street is and it's on precious few maps! <laughs>) Finally got more help and found my way to the hotel.

HOTEL:

Signed in. Found room. Crashed until Tara arrived.

SIGHTS:

Tara and I hopped on one of those double-decker jobbies and did the tour a few times. Which was nice because these London types have such thick accents that I couldn't tell what the heck they were saying. So we saw:

• Buckingham Palace (the changing of the guard)
  
• St. Paul's Cathedral (haven't gone in yet - that's tomorrow probably)
  
• Piccadilly Circus (wandered through a few times - to get to Tower Records)
  
• National Gallery (saw the Rembrandt Exhibition (last day) and many other famous painters from Van Gogh, to Monet, to Matisse) All I can say on this one is "Whoa..." Big goose bumps!
  
• We headed off to Hyde Park and experienced Speaker's Corner, which was incredibly interesting. People standing on soap boxes screaming about this and that.
  
• We went to the Natural Museum of History - Yawn
  
• Plus lots of wandering around (found Ben & Jerry's -- always worth the walk!)
  
• We went to Kensington Castle and saw the tribute to Princess Diana (they've still got the place covered in flowers)
  
• THE LONDON DUNGEON! (AWESOME!!!!)

Ok there's probably more, but I can't think of it. This place is incredibly cool. Went to a pub, got hit on by a 100 year old man - actually not really - he just tripped over me. He was drunk as heck. Hehe. :)

Went out for incredibly expensive food. <jaw gaping>  How much for a pop???

The architecture here is absolutely incredible. I'm completely awestruck. I have never ever seen anything like it.  It took Tara while to figure out that street signs are actually attached to buildings. :)

I'm slightly jet-lagged and all that walking - MY GOD! MASSEUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I had more time. I'd love to visit more places. At least we have a few more days and we'll see what other kinds of trouble we can get ourselves into. :)

Tara says hi and...oh wait...hang on... She says, "Mel, hurry up, there's bumper cars!!!" - - ok, looks like I'm outta here!

Take care everyone. :)

This place is wicked!!!!!!!

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LETTER #2

Hi all!

Lessee...where to start...

I've got about two days left before heading back to Canada and let me just say...is there no regulations to the television programs here? Few nights ago, Tara and I watched a program called "Naked Elvis"

And he was, too.  Enough said.  

Today was pretty eventful. I headed off to Buckingham Palace and traipsed about the state rooms for a while with my jaw hanging out. Terribly uncouth, I know, but I couldn't help it. The only other place this happened was St. Paul's Cathedral which is, oh my, incredible. (I had to remind myself to constantly look up.)

600-odd steps to the top of that tower and worth every heaving breath. The view was terrific and the Brits have been kind enough to give us incredibly decent weather. (Actually, Tara and I have been whining about the heat - what can I say? )

So after Buckingham Palace I wandered around town for a while. Right now I'm in Piccadilly Circus checking email. Just above me is Segaworld. For any of you gamers out there, it's huge and quite a lot of fun.

Earlier today, before we split up, Tara and I wandered into Hambley's on Regent Street which is this huge 6-floor toy shoppe.   Incredible!

The last few days have been spent wandering around town and visiting major landmarks - oh so touristy, what can I say?

Last night we went to Leicester Square (How they come to pronounce it "Lester" I'll never know!) As Tara and I were wandering around we sat down for a nice Chinese Massage. Not two minutes into Tara's the guy yanked the chair out from under her and began bolting down the street. A bunch of cops were on his tail. Illegal masseuse?  You be the judge.  The whole row of them went running, except the lady doing my shoulders.  I am blessed.

After that we listened to some musicians on the street and wandered back along Oxford Street to our hotel.

Looks like the plan for tomorrow is a 3-hour trip up to the country to see some more fabulous sites like Stonehenge and some King Arthur type stuff. (All this information is jumbling around in my head so forgive me if I get lost) 

Westminster Abbey was nice, but not nearly as awe-inspiring as St. Paul's Cathedral. However, of note, that was where Princess Diana's funeral was held. Her wedding was at St. Paul's.

We did the 311 steps of the Monument to the Great Fire of 1666 which took out about 80% of the city of London. (Just a year after the great plague of London - how's THAT for bad luck?) Actually, I did them twice. Tara missed the photo opportunity and I had to run back up them. (Ba! Thank god for kickboxing - - I would have died) Just before that, we'd done the 600-odd steps of St. Paul's Cathedral - - so needless to say, I got my exercise that day.

The Natural Museum of History was incredibly educational. Which is also why I probably found it so very boring.

Madame Tussaud's - didn't go. Sorry. We have a very nice wax museum in Victoria so I didn't waste the money.

Buckingham Palace - Beautiful, but I'd hate to be the poor sod who has to clean up the place.

The Tower of London - oh so grisly this place. This is where some monarch set up camp back in 1066 and performed some nice private hangings - like the wife Anne Boleyn who didn't manage to provide King Henry the VIIIth a son and ended up getting her head cut off for it. The other woman to be beheaded was another wife of his - but she at least worked for her fate - she cheated on him. I think he whacked her lady in waiting too...since she did all of the liaison preparation.

As Tara and I wandered about the square some moronic woman decided to step inside the gate and go up to the guard (they're not supposed to do that) for a nice picture.  Wrong.  The sound of his voice as it echoed through-out the square made me jump three feet (mental note: no stepping over that little fence - public humiliation - worse than beheadings)

The tower itself is fairly plain on the inside...which is too bad because I was beyond impressed with the exterior.  However...1066...no hot water....no plumbing, I guess I can't be too critical.

The London Dungeon - my Gosh what a gruesome place.  This is probably why I found it the most entertaining. They gave the more grisly details of London's past including Jack the Ripper, the various devices used for torture (funny, I didn't hear Mary Hart's voice anywhere in the presentation - kidding, Mary!), and other creepy yet interesting facts. After the walk through there, we headed up to The Hung Drawn and Quartered, a pub. Before, however, it was a place of...well the name is pretty explicit on that point.

Of note, it's where William Wallace a Scottish patriot was killed. He was...(surprise) hung within an inch of his life, drawn like a fish and his entrails spilled out, then his dead body quartered and sent to his homeland. His head, however, was stuck on a stake and placed on the London Bridge for all to see and contemplate, should they decide to enact any crimes which carry the death penalty.

Which was pretty much everything. 

The architecture, like I said, is absolutely fabulous and makes me wonder if Vancouver, British Columbia didn't just appear in 1969. I'll have to take a better look and see if we actually have any interesting features of the city besides the Vancouver Hotel and Stanley Park.

It's been an incredibly busy week, I can't tell you. Up at dawn (ok, 9 a.m.) and wandering about until the late hours of the night. Strangely, I feel incredibly safe in this city. People are partying it up late into the evening. Damn those Brits and their stamina!

There must be about 7,000 pubs in this city alone.  My God can these people drink!  And...you can walk about with an open bottle of beer here. (Just don't smoke dope.  Then you're in trouble.)

I can't get over the accents and on more than one occasion have been mistaken for an American. Which, I must say, in this country, is like a New Zealander being mistaken for an Australian.  Honest mistake, but we still get pious and nationalistic and incredibly ticked off by it. (Especially in London where they can't stand Americans but looooove Canadians - which is probably why so many Americans tape Canadian Flags to their backpacks, but upon further questioning couldn't name a province if it hit them in the head.)

So there you are.  A little culture lesson there.

The incredibly interesting thing, too, is the vast amount of different nationalities of the people here.  I have never seen so many Italians and Germans and Australians and.... well, you know, Europeans...in my life.

And it's so cheap to flit here and there on a Eurail pass that it's almost tempting to hop a train and head up to Paris. (Don't think I haven't thought of it - - not enough time - - I must come back.)

Remind me when I'm independently wealthy!

The one thing I noticed was that there are no garbage cans. Trash is littered along the street, or bags of it piled HIGH in front of buildings. I couldn't figure this out. But it may also be the reason why people look nervous around abandoned unidentified boxes. 

Go figure. 

No real mishaps to report. Though the fleeing massager incident was pretty funny - thank god Tara hadn't paid yet. She would have been hooped!

The movies playing right now are a good few months behind us in North America. They're watching things like Star Wars and Cruel Intentions and Never Been Kissed.

I'm half tempted to run into the square and yell out the ending to "Sixth Sense",  but I hold my tongue for fear of being dragged off to the Hung...Drawn...and Quartered Pub. :)

I can't get over the accents here. Awesome.  Enough said.  I have no idea what they're quick-moving lips and heavy accents are saying half the time, but I don't care.  The sound is melodic to my ears anyway. The fact that I probably sound like an annoying parasite doesn't bother me a bit.

Well, I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of it and it looks like in order to be able to pay for this little email I'm sending from an Internet Cafe, I'll probably have to drop several pints of blood at the local clinic. If I'm really stuck for cash they'll stop my heart and restart it for £25,000. (I think I'll ask someone to wire me money first, have no fear!)

So...from London...

This is me...signing out. Take care all and I'll see you (some of you) when I get back. :)

Melissa

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