MOVIE QUOTES

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A

ACE VENTURA:  PET DETECTIVE

Melissa:      Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.
Ace:     Pleasure to meet you.
Melissa:     Did you have any trouble getting in?
Ace:     No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.

ADDICTED TO LOVE

Maggie:     The only way she's coming back to you is if a blast of semen propels her out the window and across the street.

ANNIE HALL

Annie:     Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
Alvy:     You?  You kiddin'?  If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

Carol:     When you first entered the restaurant I thought you were handsome.  And then, of course, you spoke.

B
BRAVEHEART

Stephen:     [speaking heavenward] Him?  That can't be William Wallace.  I'm prettier than this man.  Alright, Father, I'll ask him.
[to William] If I risk my neck for you, will I get the chance to kill Englishmen?
Hamish:     Is your father a ghost, or do you converse with the Almighty?
Stephen:     In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
[looking heavenward] Yes, Father.
[to William and his men] The Almighty says don't change the subject; just answer the f*****' question.

COYOTE UGLY

Cammie:     I'm Cammie, the Russian tease.
Violet "Jersey" Sanford:     Violet, the Jersey nun.
Cammie:     That's Rachel the New York bitch.  Only Rachel really is a bitch and I really am a tease.
Lil:     Cammie, you can only be a tease if you stop sleeping around, doll.
Cammie:     Right, I keep forgetting that part!

C

CLUELESS

Cher:     Would you say I'm selfish?
Dionne:     No, not to your face.

FLAWLESS

Walt Koontz:     I can't do it!
Rusty:     Yeah?  Well "can't" lives on "won't" street.

F

FRENCH KISS

Luc:     I was born here.
Kate:     But this is so beautiful.  So charming.
Luc:     Yes, it was too beautiful.  I have to leave.

FULL MONTY, THE

Dave:     Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.

G

GOOD WILL HUNTING

Chuckie:   Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll f*****' kill you. That's not a threat. Now, that's a fact. I'll f*****' kill you.

GROSSE POINT BLANK

Martin:     [into the mirror, preparing for his high school reunion]  Hi, remember me?  I'm not married.  I don't have any kids.  And I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.

H

HIGH FIDELITY

Laura:     I'm too tired not to be with you.
Rob:     What, so if you had a bit more energy we'd stay split up, but things being as they are, with you being wiped out and all, you want to get back together?  Is that it?
Laura:     Yeah.

J

JERRY MAGUIRE

Avery:     There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, "Oh, poor baby." But I do love you.

L

LIAR LIAR

Max:     My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher:     That's just something ugly people say.

LONG KISS GOODNIGHT

Samantha:     [Samantha notices the gun in Mitch's pocket] It makes a bulge!  People can see!
Mitch:     Do ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha:     So now you're a sharp shooter?

M

MY DOG SKIP

Willie:     Does it ever itch or hurt, like it's still there?
Jack:     Yes, it hurts.
Willie:     But they gave you a medal for it, didn't they?
Jack:     I'd rather have the leg.

O

ONE TRICK PONY

Jonah:      You know, this is such a minor point, I hate to even bring it up, but I have a brother.
Hare Krishna:      We're all brothers.
Jonah:      No, I mean I have a real brother.
Hare Krishna:     We're all real brothers.
Jonah:      Well this brother, he used to sleep in the other bed in my room.
Hare Krishna:      Look, look all I'm saying to you is that if you want to purify your existence and get into your spiritual self, check it out.  Ok?  Ok.  Hare Krishna.
Jonah:     Ok ok.  Harry Chapin.

R

REF, THE

Lloyd:     You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and when it doesn't, you get to act the way you want. 

The only trouble with that is someone has to be responsible. I'd love to run around and take classes and play with my inner-self! I'd love the freedom to be some pissed-off criminal with no responsibilities, except I don't have the time! But you don't see me with a gun. And you don't see me sleeping with someone else. 

You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rock star with the body of an athlete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the s*** out of me!

SWIMMING WITH SHARKS

Rex:     This is not a business.  This is show business.  Punching people below the belt is not only alright, it's rewarded.

T

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

David:     I, for one, do not think the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

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